The boys are old enough now for those “hygiene” talks at school and have been bringing home sampler deodorant products for the very manly middle schooler. Gamma, thinking this is awesome, decided the bodywash was actually lotion and has come downstairs reeking of Old Spice “Bearglove”. She’s quite pleased with herself.

I find it hilarious that Old Spice (of all things) is now the hip cutting edge fragrance of whatever generation is following the Millennials.  Post Millennials?  Anywhoo – I think the creative department in charge of naming conventions was just having a field day.  Maybe they came up with “Swagger” to start to compete with hyper-macho Axe product line. But “Bearglove”? And then there’s the rest like “Foxcrest” and “Hawkridge”. That sounds less like youthful men prowling the urban ‘scape in search of adventure and more like a gathering of Victorian lordlings meeting up at the gentleman’s clubs for cigars and cards.

(scene opens in the cigar lounge)

Lord Foxcrest: “I say, did you hear that Hawkridge challenged Bearglove to a duel? Over a shopgirl, no less!”

Sir Krakengard: “Good heavens, Foxcrest! I told you the man was a total bounder. We never should have let him in here!”

For what it’s worth, I actually enjoy the scent of Bearglove.  Swagger too – which seems to be the most chosen sample for Jr. High boy hygiene swag bags – but just the deoderant.  The body wash is a bit much, especially when your five year old daughter is slathered in it, but actually kind of pleasant when used judiciously.  We all know that boys under a certain age use nothing judiciously.  I’d recommend giving them time to air out and the scent dissipating before coming into close quarters.  Presuming, of course, they’re inclined to shower or use any cleaning products once in there.