Me: Alpha, you’re playing that piece wrong. The note goes down, not up.
Alpha: No it doesn’t, I’m playing it right!
Me: Listen. (hums the music, pointing at each note in the piece)
Alpha: I’m playing it right! I’m telling you! You don’t know I’m not!
Me: (deep sigh) Alpha, I can read music.
Alpha: (long silence) Oh. (starts practicing again)