Beta: (outraged) Mom! How come you put yogurt in Alpha’s lunch!?
Me: (fog of exhaustion) Uh…Alpha made his own lunch today.
Beta: How come he gets yogurt and I don’t?
Me: (failing Engrish) There’s yogurt in the ‘fridge, you can have one. Strawberry.
Beta: (sullen) I don’t want one, I want to know why you never put yogurt in my lunch but Alpha has one.
Me: (focus becomes deadly sharp) You don’t want yogurt. But you’re mad Alpha has yogurt. In a lunch he made himself.
Beta: (pause) Yeah.
me: (blacks out and goes on autopilot) Beta, go have breakfast.
Beta: (huffs and puffs and flounces off to mutter 20 minutes on the unfairness of it all that Alpha helped himself to something Beta doesn’t like)