(scene opens in messy kitchen)
Me: Gamma. Why are you not being nice at school. The teacher says you’re hitting, kicking and calling people names. Don’t you want to make friends?
Gamma: No.
Me: (pause) Why not?
Gamma: Alpha and Beta are my friends.
Me: (tries new angle) Kids aren’t going to want to talk to you, do you want that?
Gamma: Yes. I want Alpha and Beta to talk to me.
Me: (Throws up hands) Gamma! Alpha and Beta are at home, you need friends at school!
Gamma: I don’t need friends. I have Alpha and Beta.
Me: (grinds molars and tries not to blaspheme over Beta only wanting to be friends with Alpha and Alpha having no fucks to give for any sibling) I wish everyone had similarly functioning loyalty in this house.