(scene opens over ironing board)
Me: Here, Alpha, you can wear this shirt for photos tomorrow.
Alpha: (with scorn) I can’t wear that, that’s your shirt!
Me: (only slightly bitter) Alpha, this is a man’s shirt. When I worked at Polo I bought men’s clothing because women’s clothing was too small. I’m wearing men’s jeans right now.
Alpha: (eyes pants, incredulous and crestfallen)
Me: Men’s clothing is generally better made and more comfortable. I’ll leave this shirt here for you to try on once you’re done with your homework.