Giving gifts

(scene opens in cluttered dining room, doorbell rings)
Husband: (brings in Amazon box)
Beta: (glad for a distraction from practicing baritone) What is it!?
Husband: (opens box) New pads for fighting.
Gamma: Why do you need new pads for fighting?
Husband: (shows Gamma a big bruise) Daddy needs new pads to keep from getting hurt while fighting.
Gamma: Why don’t you just dodge?
Husband: (looks at wife behind laptop) Please don’t.
Me: Oh yes.

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