(scene opens on a front porch)
Gamma: I have a map, mommy! Look!
Me: (distracted glance, picking up a trike and screaming Delta) Lovely, honey.
Beta: (from inside) She can’t follow that map!
Gamma: I’m hunting for buried treasure! (pokes at X)
Me: Pirate treasure? (carries trike and Delta down the stairs to the sidewalk)
Beta: (comes to the door) That map is totally wrong!
Gamma: This is going to be an excellent adventure! It’s even written in my favorite pink color!
Me: I’m sure you’d have a great time. (paces slowly after Delta, walking his trike)
Gamma: Bye mom! (runs down the block)
Beta: (storms out of the house, yelling) Mom! You can’t let her follow that map! It’s totally wrong! She’ll get lost!
Me: For the sweet love of god, Beta, she’s not going to get lost.
Beta: (hysterical) Didn’t you see it? It was just a scribble on a page!
Me: (matching tone) Could you try to have an imagination? She’s not going to get lost! People call it “pretending” and she’s going to pretend to follow the map, run to the park, come right back and probably tell us how she sailed over the ocean and climbed a mountain and find pirate gold!
Beta: (undecided and pouting) There aren’t any mountai….
Me: Get back in the house before I slap some sense into you.