(scene opens in sterile school meeting room, long table filled with various school official types)

Me: (enters in, carrying Delta, places extra large box of Kleenex on the table) Please excuse me. I’ve serious allergies that Claritin-D cannot contain. (sits, blows nose several times)
Helpful Older Lady: You should try Afrin nose spray. One squirt will clear it up.
Assembled People: (collective murmurs of agreement)
Me: (gentle smile) I’m also using the Afrin Severe Congestion spray. With menthol.
Assembled People: (collective gasp)
Helpful Older Lady: (clutches pearls) My goodness. That sounds…aggressive.
Me: (blows nose) Not aggressive enough.