(scene opens in brightly lit festive face-care aisle)
Helpful Target Lady: Can I help you find anything?
Me: Yes. I woke up yesterday to discover I had teen boys covered in acne and now have to teach them a skin care regimen that’s not too girlie. There used to be a St. Ives blue clay face mask?
HTL: I haven’t seen that in a while. I can recommend some other brands if you like. How many boys do you have?
Me: Three. (Points to Delta, hiding his face) He’s the youngest. The other two are just 12 and about to hit 14. They haven’t even gotten to the serious acne age yet and we’ve already hit gross levels. Like they still stink getting out the shower.
HTL: I called those the Gangrene Years. I had five boys.
Me: (Helpless laughter, touches arm in sympathy) You are a woman of strength. There’s hope for me?
HTL: Yes. But it’s going to take a while.
Stridex and deodorant sticks. Never too young to get them started. I used Stridex pads from 11 to 19. Speedstick, Old Spice, and Axe make excellent deodorants. Hell, I use Axe Phoenix and Clix to this day.
Make them a coming-of-age-basket and/or put them in their stockings. Availability increases chance of use.
They’re already on the Old Spice, and having grown up in an era where it was an Old Man Scent, its hilarious that all the young kids prefer it. I think we have a random collection of Swagger and Bearglove (because of course there’s one in every room in the house so they can find it and use it when I yell at them). I’ll have to look into the Stridex.