(scene opens in gym, full of grandmas and Carrot)

Me: (looks around judgmentally, prepares for combat)

Trainer: Okay everyone, welcome to a new season. Let get some sweat!

(45 minute montage of Carrot struggling to do anything)

Trainer: And that’s it for this class! Good job everyone!

Me: (slowly gets up off the floor behind the grandmas, shakily puts medicine ball back on the shelf)

Trainer: (steps closer) You okay?

Me: (rolls sore rehabbing shoulder) I haven’t been in a gym since…uh…four kids ago?

Trainer: (nods approvingly) You did good. See you next time.

Me: (pants in pathetic) Yeah. Next time.