(scene opens in mini-van, Prodigy’s “Smack My Bitch Up” playing)
Me: Oh, I like this one. Sounds like the club mix. (turns it up)
Alpha: (side eye) This is not an appropriate song. (listens) Especially not while I’m on my way to a Boys Scout event.
Me: (returns side eye, matches high vocal melody)
Alpha: With my mother in the car.
Me: (relents) Fine. (presses skip button, NIN’s “Head Like a Hole” plays) Oh, I like this one too. (turns it up to eleven)
Alpha: (listens for a moment, turns it back down to four)
Me: (singing) …than give you control!…Hey, I was listening to that.
Alpha: Why is your music so loud?
Me: When did you get so old?
Alpha: (rolls eyes, goes back to scrolling dank memes on his phone)