You Don’t Have to Include Me In Everything

(scene opens in cluttered dining room)

Me: (at table, headphones on, music up, typing furiously on laptop)

Beta: Mom. Mom. Mom! MOM!

Me: (stumbles, fuming, removes headphones) What?

Beta: Know that Buddha Board thing?

Me: (sighs) The Zen Watercolor thing, yes. What about it?

Beta: Think we can talk to dad about it?

Me: (points to husband sitting next to Beta) Oh look. There he is. Go ahead.

Husband: (chokes on tea)

Me: (angrily slaps on headphones, continues to write)

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