(scene opens in messy kitchen)
Gamma: (excited) Beta! I’ve been watch Minecraft YouTube! I know more Minecraft now!
Beta: (sweeping the floor and shitty about it) Oh yeah, how many blocks does it take…
Me: WE WILL NOT HAVE GATEKEEPING IN MY HOUSE!
Me: Hey Beta, do you know Dr. Who?
Beta: (pauses, lies badly) No.
Me: (knows his game) Try again. Hey, Beta, do you know Dr. Who?
Me: Oh yeah? Name them all.
Beta: (guilty grins)
Me: Oh, I guess you don’t know dick about Dr. Who. (gives the “understand?” look) That’s what it sounds like. Don’t. Do. It
(looks at the camera, breaks the fourth wall)
Me: Parents, don’t let your kids Gatekeep. It’s a dick move.