(scene opens in chaos filled parlor, video game war in progress)
Me: That’s it. (turns off Xbox, picks up remote) We’re going to watch something fun.
(collective groan from four children)
Me: Here. We’re going to watch the 2019 Marblelympics.
(silence as marble filled lego stands comes on the screen)
Alpha: (full of teen angst) What in fresh hell is this?
Gamma: I’m Green Ducks!
Delta: I’m Savage Speeders!
Beta: (scowls at the tv) This is cancer.
Husband: (rushes in) Who’s winning, did I miss anything?
Me: No, they just lit the torch.
Husband: This is very exciting. I hope Oceanics does well this year.
Alpha: That’s it, I’m going for a walk.