Lead Me Not Into

(scene opens in dark dinning room)

Gamma: (creeps in)

Me: (annoyed) It’s 5:30, what are you doing up?

Gamma: I’m starving.

Me: (sighs) You’re always starving. Get some breakfast.

(hour long montage of nine-year old babble to fill the silence, most of it so fast as to be intelligible)

Gamma: (for the third millionth time) Mom?

Me: (biting) What.

Gamma: What does “nuisance” mean?

(camera close up on Carrot, sweat dramatically dotting forehead, fade to black)

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