(scene opens in cluttered kitchen, Carrot helping Beta prep lunch)
Husband: Where’s the Vaseline?
Me: Metal cabinet? What do you need it for?
Husband: (holds up gauze square and Vaseline) Gamma hasn’t learned firestarting.
Me: Yes she has. (thinks) Okay, she might have memory lapse from that long ago. Dog memory.
Husband: No worries. We’re going to go firestarting. (heads out back door)
Me: (calls after) Twisted firestarting?
Husband: (shouts back) Maybe!
Beta: (stares in WTF)
Me: I’m a firestarter? Twisted firestarter? No? (sigh, grabs laptop) Hang on.
Beta: (watches required video in skeptical silence) Yeah. Sure. Okay. I’m gonna go make pizza now….
Me: You break my heart, Beta.