(scene opens in post holiday dining room)
(Husband and Carrot existing)
Gamma: (hotly) You know what mom? I want cranberry sauce. And I want it now!
Me: (sigh) Sure. Go ahead. Why are you so angry?
Gamma: (savagely) Because I like it!
Husband: (faint laughter) God help her first boyfriend.
Me: (resigned) It’ll probably be for the best.
(scene opens in early morning kitchen)
Me: (muttering to self, running around first floor) Keys. Keys. Where are my keys? Wallet?
Husband: (from kitchen) THE BEST OF US!
Me: (finds keys, enters kitchen) What?
Husband: (sitting on stool, zipping up Delta’s jacket) Tell mom what you just said, Delta.
Delta: (bundled up, ready for school) You do the most work in the house.
Me: (surprised, serious) Yes. Thank you for noticing. Let’s get in the car.
Husband: Have a good day at school, Delta!
(scene opens in dim kitchen)
Me: Beta, surprise quiz. If someone told you they supported White Supremacy then said “lol, just kidding”. Are they White Power or not?
Beta: They’re White Power.
Me: Why?
Beta: Because anyone who said that is just trying to cover it up. If they weren’t White Supremacists they wouldn’t joke about being one.
Me: Excellent critical thinking skills there. This goes back to the Two Rogers Rule….
Beta: (interrupts) I don’t know that one.
Me: If Mister Rogers and Steve Rogers wouldn’t do it, neither should you.
Beta: So I should jump out of an airplane without a parachute?
Me: Well, Mister Rogers never jumped out of a plane without a parachute, so I’m thinking you shouldn’t either.
Beta: Fair
