(scene opens in dim dining room, homeschool hell in progress)
Me: (frowning, thinking, typing slowly)
Gamma: (comes around table to look over Carrot’s shoulder) Black Phoenix Alchemy? Is that for me? Because I like alchemy?
Me: (confused) What? No. Go back to your chair.
Gamma: (lingering) I’m curious.
Me: (sharply) Go!
Gamma: (flouncing away dramatically) Why isn’t it for me? Why won’t you let me do alchemy?
Me: (struggling to focus) Black Phoenix Alchemy is a perfume site, not alchemy.
Gamma: (bemoans) Why doesn’t anyone do alchemy any more?
Me: (trying to articulate) Now it’s called chemistry.
Gamma: Doesn’t sound as much fun as alchemy. I suppose I could do chemistry if I had to.
(Carrot puts head down on table, fade to black, cut to car commercial)