(scene opens in dim kitchen)
Gamma: Look at that chonky squirrel! I want a squirrel as a pet!
Husband: (looks out window) Eh, you can’t really have a squirrel for a pet. They’re not domesticated animals.
Gamma: Can I domesticate it?
Husband: You could tame one, but that’s different than domesticating.
Me: (looks up from making coffee) I don’t know how many generations it takes to domesticate something. Gamma, what you really want is to make some Crow Friends.
Gamma: How do you do that?
Me: Well, you need to feed them, but there are so many squirrels here, you’d need to call them to the yard first and then feed them.
Gamma: (skeptical) How do we do that?
Me: You can get a Crow Call on the internet.
Gamma: (skepticism deepens) A Crow Call?
Husband: Yeah! A Crow Call. Watch. (cups hands, leans towards window) HEY CROW! COME HERE CROW!
Me: (closes eyes) Seriously.
Husband: (laughs himself silly) I’m helpy!