(scene opens in church rec room, Cub Scout meeting in progress)

Delta: (whispering) Mom, I need a drink.

Me: (takes him by the hand, leaves the room)

(cut scene to hallway with an archaic drinking fountain mounted to the brick wall)

Delta: (looks at it, looks at Carrot) Do we have a water bottle?

Me: (confused) No. We don’t need a water bottle. Just drink.

Delta: (looks at it, looks at Carrot)

Me: (pushes button, leans forward, slurps up the arc of water) See?

Delta: (delightedly steps up and drinks enough water to drown an elephant) Mom! That was fun! I’ve never drank water like that!

Me: How have you never used a drinking fountain before?

Delta: School only has places to fill bottles. (runs back to rec room)

Me: (dies a little)