(scene opens in cluttered kitchen, conversation in progress)
Me: I’m really sorry they’re moving. I wanted to hang out with him more and make fun of each other.
Beta: (attempting to be witty) You’re bald! (crickets) And I’m out! (turns to leave)
Husband: Beta, come here.
Beta: (nervously edges toward the door room) No!
Husband: I said come here. (crosses room)
(Husband embraces Beta gently, pats him on the back)
Husband: Sorry I missed your concert tonight. I heard you did a great job.
Beta: (confused, whimpers again) What just happened?
Husband: (lets him go, picks up tea mug, smiles)
Me: Good night, Beta.
Beta: (edges out of the room, slightly panicky) I don’t know what’s going on.
Me: (sotto voce) There is nothing he can do to you that is worse than your own imagination.
Husband: (smug humming)