(scene opens in cluttered kitchen)
Alpha: (hunting breakfast) Ha-HA! (pulls bag of leftover pizza from ‘fridge)
Me: (pointing) HA! Ha-HA!
Me: HA! Hu-ha-ha-ha. HA!
Husband: You guys are dorks.
Alpha: (draws himself up) You married her. You made me.
Me: He does have a point.
Husband: I was cool once.