(scene opens outside a strip mall DMV)
Me: (waiting out on the side walk)
Alpha: (walks up sheepishly)
Alpha: I failed. I have to retake it.
Me: (takes a moment to consider body language) You’re lying to me.
Alpha: (smile brightens) Yes. I got it. I passed.
Me: (reaches into purse, pulls out bag of sour gummi Troll worms) Here. Congrats.
Alpha: (looks at bag) If I had failed, would you not have given it to me?
Me: You’d still get it. Then it’d be consolation candy. Like Break Up Ice Cream. Did you want to drive home?
Alpha: God no. I have candy to eat.