(scene opens in early morning tent, three scout leaders contemplating life)
Me: (scratches stomach. Stops. Swears) Goddamnit. Where’s the first aid kit?
Leader 1: In my pack. Why?
Leader 1: Already? We’ve not even been here a whole day.
Me: (sighs) Yeah.
(flailing around tent, first aid kid found, tick removed)
Leader 2: Now what?
Me: Lone Star Tick.
Leader 1: So?
Me: That’s the one that makes you allergic to red meat. Because F Texas in particular.
Leader 1: What?!
Leader 2: Man, Carrot. Having a rough week there. First rabies shots, then Shingles, and now maybe becoming allergic to red meat.
Me: (resignedly) If I get out of here never able to eat another steak, I might have to quit Girl Scouts. Just saying.