(scene opens in tent in dead of night, distant-but-not-distant enough howling starts up)

Leader 1: That’s legit, right? That’s the real thing we’re hearing?

Me: (thoughtfully) As opposed to the dudebros we heard earlier? Yeah, I think so.

(Yipping and howling continues for a moment before going silent)

Leader 2: I think we’ll be okay. It sounds down in the valley and we’re higher up.

(Silence continues a bit longer. Then screaming carnage breaks out in a completely different spot from the first howling.)

Me: What the f– was that?

Leader 2: I think they caught something.

Leader 1: Are we concerned with our survival?

Me: (considers) Not yet.

Leader 1: Not yet?!

Me: (philosophically) Well, if they caught something, they’re not coming up here looking for something to eat.

Leader 2: And they’re further down in the valley now.

Leader 1: What time is it?

Me: (checks watch) Midnight. We have five-ish hours to sunrise.

Leader 1: This is going to be a long five hours.

Me: There’s a fun-patch for this, right?

(three leaders suppress hysterical late-night stress giggles, fade to black)