(scene opens in cluttered dinning room, Carrot behind laptop at table)

(Beta enters from kitchen)

Me: (looks up, sees papers in Beta’s hand) Oh, did dad print out the Belegarth waiver for you?

Beta: (pouts) Yeah. He pre-filed a bunch of them so they’re on hand to sign. Look what he did!

Me: (takes papers shoved at her, eyebrows raise) Your fighter name is “Skippypants McDidn’tPickaName”?

Beta: Can you believe him?!

Me: I can. This is what happens when you don’t pick your own name. A name will be given.

(Husband enters from kitchen)

Me: Skippypants McDidn’tPickaName?

Husband: (looking pleased) Yup.

Me: Should have gone with Potato McTater.

Beta: (exasperated) Mom! You’re not helping!

Me: I cannot help. I can only enable.