(Scene opens in parlor. Carrot is reading a restaurant menu advertisement, Husband and Beta are listening)
Me: Hmm. The “Pistoleer”. Italian beef, au jus, and toasted roll. Wait. How is that different from the “Big Daddy”? Oh, the “Big Daddy” has mozzarella and provolone. That’s what makes it a “Big Daddy” apparently, the cheese.
(Carrot and Husband lock eyes over the menu)
Both: Cheesy Skillet.
Beta: What the F was that?
Me: (carelessly, eyes on menu) Beta, one day you’re going to fall in love and you’ll know it’s the real thing when the two of you end up developing your own secret language. Its why I can never leave your father. No one else speaks my language.
Husband: Or you’ll just have to spend another twenty years learning a new one. (pause) Christine Aguleria.
Me: (begins to laugh)
Husband: (nods and leaves the room)
Beta: (outraged) WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!?