Tag: alarm

Same Time Same Channel

On By carrotkhanLeave a comment

(scene opens in early morning bedroom)

Me: (instantly awake, eyes fly open)

(seconds pass, Carrot nudges Husband repeatedly)

Husband: (sleepy) Huh?

Me: (carefully) I need you to reach up and turn on the light.

(Husband flails looking for the sconce above Carrot’s head)

Me: No! The one above you!

Husband: Oh. Right.

(light floods room, brown bat circling the ceiling, Husband and Carrot contemplate it)

Husband: We’re going to have to get our windows checked. Our bedroom door was closed.

Me: I can’t figure out how they know they can slither through a gap in a closed window but can’t figure out how to fly out an open one.

Setting mood and theme.

On By carrotkhanLeave a comment

(scene opens in small kitchen. Platters of frozen ingredients thawing: everything from meat to mulberries. Kitchen aid-mixer running.)

Me: (muttering to self) Bread going, where are the peppers?

(Carrot take down small red glass jar, holding five small red pepper. Carefully shakes one out, begins to de-seed. Crumbles to near dust in her hands.)

Me: Damnit, they’re too old. I can’t use these.

(Pepper flakes re-bottled, Carrot turns back to mixer, tests dough with finger.)

Me: Damnit, too watery and I’m out of flour.

(Carrot absently licks fingers. Freezes. Surprised look on her face.

Me: Oh. They’re not too old.

(Carrot claps hand over her mouth, begins hunting for coffee mug, downs it)

Alpha: (Watching. Points.) Ha. Ha.

Me: (blinks rapidly) Legit.

Bonus to Awarness

On By carrotkhanLeave a comment

(scene opens in basement, knee deep in baskets of folded laundry, She-Ra on tv)

Delta: (laying upside down on couch)
Me: (in bathrobe, hunting for clothing)
Beta: (breathless, pounds downstairs) What’s that noise!
Me: Probably me laughing, this show is ridiculous. Mermista obviously wants to be She-Ra…
Beta: No! It was loud! Like an alarm!
Me: I don’t hear anything. I…(sudden realization) Oh. You’re hearing the tornado sirens. Its the first Tuesday of the month.
Beta: (flailing) When did they start doing that?!
Me: Since forever.
Beta: (more flailing, more panic) This is horrible! What if there was a real tornado! On the first Tuesday! Of the month!
Me: (finding toddler clothes) Never happens. Against the rules.
Beta: (pause) ….really?
Me: No, not really! How have you never heard a siren before?
Beta: (thinks) Not paying attention?
Me: Huh. Imagine.