Responsibilities

(scene opens in early morning dinning room, windows still dark)

Me: (still in bathrobe, coffee in hand, obviously up before go time)
Gamma: (bright, bubbly, dressed for school, playing on kid Kindle) Momma? How come you get to travel all the time and not me?
Me: (glances at 5:30 am clock time, to early to talk) Dunno.
Gamma: Is it because you’re the adult?
Me: (sighs) Maybe. (clutches coffee, closes eyes)
Gamma: Is it because you’re famous?
Me: (opens eyes) Not exactly. I’m Nerd Famous. Its a little different.
Gamma: (crosses arms) Well, I’m famous too. I’m the Princess of Dreamland and I should get to travel!
Me: (presses coffee cup to forehead) Well, if you’re the Princess of the Dreamlands, then maybe you need to spend more time there. Your people need you.
Gamma: (turns up nose, pokes at Kindle)

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Distilled

(scene opens in busy Starbucks, camera follows tea carrying individual through crowd to fireplace seating area)

Me: (looks up from phone, sees Childhood Bestie) Hey.
CB: Nice seats. (settles in)
Me: Right? Very comfy. (picks up cooling coffee, takes a sip, flinches and grimaces)
CB: (WTF look)
Me: Christmas blend. (grimace intensified)
CB: And?
Me: (another cautious sip) Tastes like 2018.
CB: (nod of understanding)

Not Helping

(scene opens in cluttered kitchen)

Alpha: (preparing to wash dishes, soap and sponge at the ready)
Me: (enters, notices mug in Alpha’s hands) What are you doing?
Alpha: Getting ready to wash dishes. Its my chore for the day.
Me: Did you just dump out that coffee mug?
Alpha: Yes.
Me: Was it hot?
Alpha: Yes.
Me: (gestures to a counter full of glassware) Every glass we own is dirty and you start with the coffee mug I just put down while in the bathroom?
Alpha: (defensively) It was dirty!
Me: It was seasoned! You never wash a coffee addict’s coffee mug! They might still be drinking it!

Kids. Cats. Same diff.

(scene opens in cluttered kitchen)
Me: (puts away groceries)
Delta: (dumps out Legos)
Me: (puts aways clean dishes)
Delta: (puts Legos back in bin)
Me: (makes coffee)
Delta: (dumps out Legos)
Me: (washes stovetop)
Delta: (puts Legos back in bin)
Me: (goes to bathroom)
Delta: (dumps out Legos)
Me: (brings up clean laundry)
Delta (puts Legos back in bin)
Me: (grabs lukewarm coffee, sits down for a sip and rest)
Delta: (gets up, races over on fat toddler legs, screams to be put in lap, pounds on laptop keys and everything else in reach)
Me: You are making a very strong case for a standing desk.

Lesson learned

(scene opens in same kitchen, different mess)
Me: (pours coffee)
Delta: (points to mug) *shrill bird cry*
Me: We’ve been through this already. No.
Delta: *shrill intensifies*
Me: Awesome, you’re already a fiend. (holds down mug)
Delta: (takes one looks inside and walks away)
Me: Learning curve achieved.