(scene opens in dinning room)
Husband: (grouchy) Beta is wearing shorts.
Me: (too through) I told him to go through Alpha’s dresser for jeans if they’re not in his.
Husband: They say they don’t have any. Alpha has been wearing the same shorts for two weeks now.
Me: But…I went to Goodwill. In a mask. I bought a dozen. It’s a pandemic. We. Haven’t. Been. Anywhere.
Husband: (throws up hands)
Me: (still confused) All the laundry has been done.
Husband: I told them at lunch they’re going up to their room and finding all their pants.
(the two stare at one another)
Me: It’s gonna get real cold in here when the Polar Vortex comes and they have no pants.
Husband: I doubt that will motivate them.