(scene opens in bright summer parlor, Jethro Tull loud on the speakers)
Me: (at embroidery frame singing heartily) Ring out those solstice bells! Ring out….
Alpha: (off screen and with terror) MOM!
(Carrot leaps up and heads to basement, cut scene to top of the stairs)
(Alpha looks up helplessly, Epsilon noses something suspicious on the floor, manages a doggy smug)
Me: (exasperated) Alpha, its just poop. If you guys walked him more this wouldn’t…
Alpha: (tremulously) Mom. It’s not poop.
(Carrot descends stairs for better look)
Carrot’s Inner Voice: Please, oh god, don’t be a rat.
Carrot: Looks a little big to be a mouse, and there’s no tail. (gets closer, sighs gently) Oh honey, its a baby rabbit. A very baby rabbit.
Epsilon: (wags tail and pants smugly)
Alpha: (tearfully) Is it dead?
(Carrot picks up small animal, wet and slick and black. It kicks slightly)
Alpha: (jumps) It’s not dead!
Carrot: Well, this makes things a little more complicated.
Editor’s Note: Said baby appears to have been claimed. Given the cruelty of Mother Nature, we are continuing to believe that said baby was claimed by the mama.