Tag: goals

Experiential Wisdom

On By carrotkhanLeave a comment

(scene opens in Christmas mall, Carrot wandering between Alpha and Gamma)

Me: This was the mall that I used to hang out at as a kid.

(Alpha and Gamma side eye Carrot)

Me: When I was your age (pokes Alpha) our parents would drop us off at a particular door, tells us to be back there at a certain hour, and just leave us here with our friends to wander, hang out, and shop. It was like teenage day care.

Gamma: (excitedly) Did you ever buy anything?

Me: (snorts) With what money? No, it was mostly hanging out. At Christmas, before internet, you’d make lists of things you wanted and shared them with the family. Then the whole family would go to the mall, you’d get your list, and then separate to go buy things for everyone.

Alpha: (confused) Why don’t we do that?

Me: What kid had enough money to buy everyone presents? Presents that were “good enough”? It used to make your Auntie K and I so anxious with the pressure of getting the “right thing”. I never wanted that for you, that expectation that you have to buy people gifts just because. So I never pressed you guys to buy gifts for one another. I want you guys to grow up giving gifts because you like the person and want to do something nice. Something special. The holidays are stressful enough as is. And you kinda need a source of income before you can do that anyway.

Gamma: Can we hang out at the mall anyway? (shock and awe) Did you see the food court?!

Alpha: (skeptical) What’s fun about hanging out at a shopping place?

Me: (sighs) It was a different time.

Alpha: Your childhood was wierd.

Takes No Prisoners

On By carrotkhanLeave a comment

(scene opens in long open cabin room, tween pre-bed chaos in full swing)

Me: (paces to center of the room, orates loudly) Okay campers! I did not get any sleep last night and I am highly resentful of that fact! Tonight, at lights out, we will not have yelling! We will not have running around and shaking the entire cabin! There will be no crying, no fighting, and there will be quiet! Am I understood?

Tween Greek Chorus: (muttered sporadic responses)

Me: I can’t hear you! Am I understood?

Tween Greek Chorus: (different muttered sporadic responses)

Me: The only acceptable answer is “Sir! Yes sir!”! Am I understood?

Tween Greek Chorus: (loudly) SIR! YES SIR!

Me: (satisfied) That’s what I like to hear.

Acceptable Paygrade

On By carrotkhanLeave a comment

(scene opens in driveway)

Delta: (climbing into minivan) Mom! Why is it so cold out?

Me: Winter is coming.

Delta: What comes after winter?

(everyone buckled in, van pulls out and begins to drive)

Me: Spring. That’s when your birthday is, you’re my little Lord of Spring.

Delta: I don’t want to be Lord of Spring!

Me: You don’t? But it sounds so grand. Alpha is the Knight of Winter and Beta is the Knight of Summer.

Delta: And Gamma is Queen of….

Me: Fall. Or Autumn. Queen of Autumn is fancier.

Delta: I like Queen of Fall.

Me: You could be King of Spring if you want.

Delta: (thinks is over) Maybe emperor…? No, I can be the God of Spring. Don’t you think that’s a much more appropriate job title for me?

Me: (grinning stupidly) Yes. I think that’s perfect.

Am Disappoint

On By carrotkhanLeave a comment

(scene opens up in kitchen)

Me: (tiredly making lunch and drinking cold coffee)

Delta: Mommy, can I ask you some questions? (sits on stool)

Me: Sure honey, what’s wrong?

Delta: How many more days until life gets easy?

Me: (extreme feelz) I wish I could tell you.

To-do list

On By carrotkhanLeave a comment

(scene opens in gloomy foyer)

Me: You have everything?
Alpha: Yes. (shrugs on backpack)
Me: What are you going to do today?
Alpha: Turn in all my math homework! (picks up violin case)
Me: Good jo…
Alpha: Then conquer Asia!
Me: It’s good to have goals.
Alpha: (strides out the front door)