(scene opens in dim kitchen)

Husband: (whispering) Good morning.
Me: (whispering) Good morning. Off to work?
Husband: (nods, leans in for kiss)
Me: (kisses back, goes in for hug)
Husband: Side hug for Jesus. (drapes arm around wife)
Me: Seriously?
Husband: Because Jesus was a butt-man. (reaches down for a squeeze)
Me: (looses it completely, laughter wakes up children)