I think, therefore

(scene opens in the clean foyer, Delta singing to himself wandering aimlessly, Carrot sorting mail)

Delta: (sees legos on top of short cabinet, reaches up to get them) Momma!

Me: Hmm? (reading address)

Delta: Did you see that? I reach th’ top of th’ ca-net. I get th’ Legos!

Me: (looks up, sees excited Delta) Good job, sweetie.

Delta: I use be too small. (touches head and top of cabinet) Now I tall! (wonderingly) When I get so tall?

Me: (indulgent smile) Yesterday.

Scarred, I tell you

(scene opens in echoing Legoland cafe, filled with screaming kids)

Gamma: Mom, who’s that lady with the red hair?
Me: (turns, sees wall covered with portraits of superhero min-figs) That’s Poison Ivy. She and Harley Quinn are girlfriend-girlfriend.
Gamma: Huh. Which on is Batman’s girlfriend?
Me: Catwoman.
Gamma: Oh. Can I have goldfish with my pizza?

Power of a name

(scene opens in toy tossed bedroom)

Me: Enough, Gamma. I’ve been after you all week to pick up.
Gamma: But I did!
Me: (enhancing her calm) You have not. Look, I’ll help.
Gamma: But it is!
Me: (ignoring, pointing to books) Put these on the shelves. (pulls out bin) Put the dolls in here. I’ll collect the dirty laundry.
Gamma: (uncertain) Okay.
Me: (picks up jeans to reveal an Elves Lego min-fig) Here. Put David Bowie in the Lego box.
Gamma: David Bowie? How do you know his name is David Bowie?
Me: That’s the Goblin King. Everyone knows the Goblin King’s name is David Bowie.
Gamma: Thanks mom.