How am I not ruling the world?

(scene opens in a tossed parlor)

Me: For the last time today, sit down and do your reading for English.
Beta: (whining) But I did my reading!
Me: That was for your Merit Badge. Different book. English class. Now.
Beta: (more whining, gravity suddenly triples in effort to reach paperback)
Me: (refuses to be baited, sips coffee)
Beta: (studies book as if having never seen it before) What page was I on?
Me: (temporarily looses vision) What makes you think I would know that?
Beta: (guileless) You’re supposed to be keeping up with my homework so I know what I’m doing.
Me: Find. Your. Page. Read. The. Whole. Book. Tonight.

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And so we begin

For every righteous mouth that told  me my problem is that I need to get the kids on “a schedule” – there’s the idiotic assumption that the kids will FOLLOW the schedule. After almost six years “get up, get dressed, brush your teeth” is still  too damn complicated for them to do it unsupervised, without hand holding, micromanaging, and lectures on “Every morning we get up, get dressed, and brush our teeth!”