Random Encounter

Me: Okay, Universe – I really got to sleep tonight, I’m totally wiped out. It’s hotter than hell and the windows are open. Please no drunk AM fireworks, car alarms, random dogs, incontinent skunks, street racers. Can you do that for me?

Universe: Sure.

Alpha: (falls down the stairs at 1 am)

Me: (murderous) What the hell are you doing, Alpha?!

Alpha: Bat in our room.

Me: (stares) Seriously.

Universe. LOL

Responsibilities

(scene opens in early morning dinning room, windows still dark)

Me: (still in bathrobe, coffee in hand, obviously up before go time)
Gamma: (bright, bubbly, dressed for school, playing on kid Kindle) Momma? How come you get to travel all the time and not me?
Me: (glances at 5:30 am clock time, to early to talk) Dunno.
Gamma: Is it because you’re the adult?
Me: (sighs) Maybe. (clutches coffee, closes eyes)
Gamma: Is it because you’re famous?
Me: (opens eyes) Not exactly. I’m Nerd Famous. Its a little different.
Gamma: (crosses arms) Well, I’m famous too. I’m the Princess of Dreamland and I should get to travel!
Me: (presses coffee cup to forehead) Well, if you’re the Princess of the Dreamlands, then maybe you need to spend more time there. Your people need you.
Gamma: (turns up nose, pokes at Kindle)

No Justice

Me: (enters, drops backpack and duffle bag)
Husband: (gives welcome home kiss) Did you have fun?
Me: Yes. I’m also starved. What was for dinner? (opens fridge, hunting left overs)
Husband: Bacon and eggs.
Me: (disappointed) Oh. (continues to look for something else)
Husband: I had gotten them for breakfast but we ended up having them for dinner because the kids let me sleep in.
Me: (snaps up straight, repeats as if tasting unfamiliar words) They….they let you….sleep in?
Husband: (working hard for straight face) I asked them why they did that. They said that I looked tired.
Me: (lets ‘fridge door drift close, repeats slowly as if to understand alien concept) They let you sleep in (pause, as if thinking) because you looked (significant pause) tired?
Husband: (gives in to helpless laughter) I told them you were going to be pissed.
Me: Pissed, nothing. I’m going to straight up murderlize them.